Yeah folks! It’s back. And lucky for you, being pregnant is almost entirely awkward. So let the games begin.
Having blood drawn for my first prenatal panel. The young male phlebotomist decides to break the ice with this gem: So, you like to party?
Trying to buy Hornsby’s hard cider at Vons and the “must be my first day on the job” checker scrutinizes my ID, then calls for a second opinion. Then they proceed to quiz me on what year I graduated and how old I was during the OJ Simpson trial. If I was an underage girl trying to buy liquor, would I be wearing sweatpants?
When your midwife asks what you had for breakfast. And you tell her the truth: chocolate cake.
Aforementioned midwife saying cake is okay for breakfast as long as you wash it down with calcium rich milk. Done and done.
Having a birthday that always falls on a 3 day weekend! Thank you, MLK Jr!
MATERNITY JEANS! I do not understand why all denim does not come with an elastic waistband. I can eat all I want and I never have to unbutton my jeans at the end of a meal.
Ima go run and get me some special juice. Have a rad Thursday!