Awkward and Awesome Thursday!


Toilets that flush automatically. Worst invention ever! One of two things will always happen: 1, there will still be pee in the water, demonstrating inadequate flushing after the previous use; or 2, the sensor will be so strong that it flushes mid steam and your rear gets sucked to China.

When people sing you Happy Birthday. What the heck are you supposed to do while they drag it out for 47 seconds? Smile? Contemplate your forthcoming wish? Stare at the obscene number of candles? Four verses get uncomfortable fast.

The way I spend a full hour on my ponytail before I meet my friend and hairstylist for lunch. I don’t want her to think the only day my hair looks good is salon day. Even though that’s pretty much the case.

That I addressed my Valentine’s Day card to Sexy Husband. And he addressed his card to Sweet Wife. He may as well have addressed it to Formerly Hot Lover Who Still Has a Nice Personality Even Though Her Buns are the Size of Texas. 


Skipping the C-cup altogether. My lady lumps are living large.

The sweat pant. So warm. So cozy. So versatile. And so acceptable to wear to the store, gym, doctor, etc. when you’re pregnant. Forgive me, Stacy London. I’ll get dressed  in July.

Our trip to Fresno last weekend to celebrate my friend Alisha! 30 looks good on you, girl!



One thought on “Awkward and Awesome Thursday!

  1. Lisa says:

    Toilet flushing scenario 3: Toilet flushes mid stream and splashes your behind with its contents! Ha! Love your A&A’s as always! Get your sweat wearing arse down to SD stat so we can see that belly!

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